Wednesday, January 07, 2004

More Predictions

Before this year really gets under way, let me fire off some more predictions on the record:

Howard Stern will not renew his radio contract. Instead, he will become CBS' Barbara Walters, doing interviews with treain wrecks, like, say, Heidi Fleiss or Paris Hilton. The CBS Entertainment division will pay the subjects a la "checkbook journalism." The show will come on periodically, called "Howard Stern Interviews ..."

The infamously clumsy Will Smith will memorably trip and fall down at The Oscars.

Sarah Jessica Parker will get an Oprah-like syndicated talk show aimed at the hip young woman. The show will feature and be supported inordinately by the fashion houses.

P Diddy will run for NY mayor as an independent and Russell Simmons will signal a willingness to run as an independent for Governor, staring off a new volley of celebrity politicians.

Pakistani leader Musharraf will be assasinated. Osama Bin Laden will make Pakistan the next frontier in the US War on Terror. India will become our new close ally in the war. As a result, Indian fashion, food and music will undergo a rennaisance in the US just as British culture did immediately following 9-11. India comes into its own in 2004.

Justin Timberlake will marry Cameron Diaz and Al Greene will perform the cermony as well as sing.

Tony Blair will be forced to step down. Britain will face a year of upheval as Prince Charles declines the crown amid scandal over Diana's death, making way for William to become King.

We will all be quoting lines from Donald Trump's Apprentice show for much of the early part of 2004.

Alec Baldwin and Richard Johnson will fight -- celebrity boxing style -- in a charity event benefitting Breast Cancer. The Page Six editor will clean The Bloviator's clock. And the Bassinger-Baldwin divorce will become the latest acrimonious slice o shadenfreude to clutter the media landscape.

Giselle Bundchen will dump Leo for Ashton.




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