Friday, April 16, 2004

A Little of the Old In and Out

In: The Patty Hearst mugshot. Very chic.

Out: Crack. Very wack. William Moyers, Jr., the son of liberal patron saint Bill Moyers, has admitted to alcohol and crack addiction. He tells the Emory Wheel:

"'My casual drinking was replaced by full-blown alcoholism,' he said.

"But Moyers managed to graduate with honors in journalism (from Washington and Lee). Following in the steps of his father, he began working for CNN in Atlanta.

"But Moyers had a secret life apart from CNN. He began buying and using crack at a house near the intersection of Ponce de Leon Avenue and Boulevard Street."

I think Whitney frequented the same locale. Ghastly, really, but it was the hip crackspot.

First Chris Rock's recipe for lactose crack, and now Bill Moyers, Jr.

In: Morton Kondrake. The Washington Post's Reliable Source writes today (via Wonkette):

"'Beltway boy Mort Kondracke's 2001 book about his life and his wife, Saving Milly: Love, Politics, and Parkinson's Disease, was a local hit. Now it's in the works to become a TV movie on CBS, which has two sponsors for the likely Sunday night flick and is looking for two more. 'The producer did Winds of War and War and Remembrance, so I'm really happy about that,' Kondracke said. 'Not that Robert Mitchum is around to play me!' Who would he like in his role? (' Steve Buscemi' was the suggestion loudly offered yesterday by one of the Washington insiders attending Kathy Kemper's Institute for Education power breakfast.) 'I invite suggestions,' Kondracke told us." Hmmm. I suggest a regimen of daily vitamins and anaerobic exercises, Mort. And, while we are on a "new me" thing, how about a change of surname?

Out: Hillary will not be Veep. Drudge reports: "Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton was asked in an exclusive interview on NBC's Today this morning what she would say if Kerry asked her to be his running mate.

"Clinton said, 'I don't think that will happen. I made it clear I don't want that to happen. What my answer will be, it will be no. I am not prepared to do that.'"

Right now one can almost hear the enourmous ketchup scented "whew!" being uttered by the Kerry team as Kerry will already win New York and needs a midwestern, southern, or southwestern running mate. And fears of "memoir blackmail," that interesting theory Dick Morris put forth, which, it appears, Hillary took pains to respond to today.

In: Norway. Washington Life Magazine writes: "Former Rep. Lee Hamilton presented the Peace/Maker Peace/Builder award to the (Nowegian) Ambassador ( Knut Vollebaek), honoring the government of Norway. (Hamilton, who represented Indiana for 34 years in Congress, is now the director of the Woodrow Wilson International Center for Scholars, and serves also as the vice-chairman of the '9/11 Commission,' the National Commission on Terrorist Attacks Upon the United States. Hamilton spoke of Norway?s long record of defusing international conflicts, specifically in the cases of Sri Lanka and Sudan. He pointed out Norway?s good example as a precept: that 'outsiders should strive to support and maintain institutions, not seek to control the process.'? Skoal.

Out: Naomi Campbell. The 3 AM Girls report that Naomi, who has dated in recent weeks Tommy Lee, Sean Lennon and P Diddy, is now set on Damon Dash:

"The pair were canoodling at exclusive London club Eve on Wednesday - and onlookers claim their relationship is definitely more than platonic.

"'They were all over each other,' says our spy. 'They certainly looked like a couple.'

"While most dismiss Naomi as a tantrum-throwing diva, 33-year-old Damon - in London launching new hip-hop magazine America - insists Naomi is 'a cool and interesting person' and he pulled out all the stops to ensure an intimate liaison.

"During a magazine interview, the pair were texting each other like mad.

"'I can't believe Naomi is in town,' he gushed. 'We're always missing each other, so now I want to invite her to dinner.'"

And so it begins.

In: $15 Million a picture star The Rock. Is that a name or a noun? Anyhoo, Rock, like Billy Bob Thornton, admits to having a crush on the daughter of the beast, Jennifer Garner in that significant cultural artifact, The Star:

"Q: What star do you think is sexy?

"A: Jennifer Garner is a sexy lady. She has a beautiful face. She looks like someone you can connect to."

Just remember, you heard it here when Jennifer Garner becomes the head of the New World Order and demands that we all tatoo bar codes on our foreheads. Be rapture ready is all I'm saying.

Out: Ananova reports that Court Love (get it?) will have to stand trial:

"She attended a preliminary hearing on Thursday, and the trial is expected to start in Los Angeles later today.

"Love had been arrested in October 2003 after damaging her ex-boyfriend's house in the middle of the night.

"A judge ruled she must also stand trial on two separate drug possession charges.

"Love, 39, also faces assault charges in New York stemming from an altercation in a nightclub last month.

"Shortly after her appearance in court yesterday, she went on The Tonight Show to promote her solo album America's Sweetheart.

"During the interview with Jay Leno she talked about running for the Attorney General of California and even flashed her knickers."

She flashed her ---what?! Whoa: Ananova is Little Ms. Racist today ... huh? ... whuzzat? ... oh, knickers ... I thought Ananova said ....

In: Court Love. She's so out, she's in. The Scotsman says, "Before the judge arrived in the Beverly Hills court, Love smiled and pointed to her bare shoulders.

�'Strapless,' she said, referring to her black dress. 'It�s a silly case. Silly dress.'"










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