Saturday, May 21, 2005

A Little of the Old In and Out


newdaanapgallery

In: Howard Dean on Meet The Press (image via The Guardian). For the political geek (The Corsair reluctantly raises his hand), Meet the Press tomorrow at the ungodly hour of 10:30 is must-see teevee, for sure. Pop the Alka Seltzer and park thyself in front of the tube for what is sure to be a mighty hoedown. The hardest interviewer in DC, Tim Russert, gets his Buffalo BBQ chicken wing stained mitts on the exceedingly honest if somewhat erratic DNC Chairman, Howard Dean, in his first broadcast interview since achieving that office. Oh, it's on ... it's on like Gray Poupon!

Dean is infamous for "shooting from the lip," making him the perfect interview for the excellent Russert, whose cross-examination of hapless guests is like watching a high speed grinder go to work on a succulent ham. Bzzzzzt. And then, abruptly, the obstruction of bone. Krrrkt.

We are expecting some excruciatingly tense dramatics -- the obstruction of bone -- interspersed with hard, insincere political smiles, eyes that can shoot daggers and of course the, "Now, Tim," which roughly translated, would be: "fuck you very much."

Go: Tim.

art-10235_main

Out: P Diddy (image via Exposed). The Corsair can say with blessed finality that P Diddy's cool factor is finally "out." No buzz. Gag him with a fork, 'cause he's done. His synergy is fin-ergy.
That schlocking of "rims" was the penultimate coolness killer (Averted Gaze), a firm "8.7" on The Corsair's Ghett-ometer (TM). But the nail-in-the-coffin moment came the other night, when, according to the 3AM Girls:

"POOR P Diddy. There were no bidders when the rap mogul offered guests at a charity auction the chance to meet him and spend the day living his blingtastic life.

"'It should have gone for thousands but there was no interest,' says our insider."

RIP, Diddy Buzz, 2005

In: "Soap Opera Face." Never have so many cleft chins-in-the-form-of-a-newborne's-ass, and "surgically altered lips" been on display as at yesterday's Daytime Emmy's. Of that significant cultural development known as "Soap Opera Face," The Corsair has written:

"The Corsair -- mirabile dictu -- has made a study of the 'Soap Opera face.' It is the triumph of the plastic surgeon's Art. Observe 'The Bold and the Beautiful.' This celebration of pure facial excess serves our purposes adequately.

"The overcosmeticization of the soap opera faces on 'The Bold and the Beautiful' is naught else but insolent fuck. The 'jutting cheekbones' offend our puritanical sensibilities, and, in close quarters, can put someone's eyes out. The 'overpouty lips' can only be properly construed as sexually obscene. The industry standard 'cleft chin in the form of an infant's ass' (May I slap him?) fall limply under the category of: jejeune. Finally, the fixed-prehistoric raptor gaze is disturbing."

clone

(image via usoe)

Out: Cloners. Every time some darn Star Wars prequel comes out (link via Drudgie poo), "43" gets truculent about the cloners. Apparently his peculiar brand of neoconservative idealism makes it hard for him to distinguish between reality and "make-believe." We won't entertain the possibility of any Star Wars politicking. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) Now, the President is threatening to cast the first veto (W hasn't vetoed once in either term of his Administration) .According to Reuters:

"President Bush threatened on Friday to veto legislation that would loosen restrictions on government funding of embryonic stem cell research and expressed concern about human cloning research in South Korea.

"In the House of Representatives, supporters of a bill sponsored by Republican Rep. Mike Castle of Delaware and Democratic Rep. Diane DeGette of Colorado that permits expanded embryonic research hope for a vote next week and believe it will be close.

" ... Bush, who has yet to veto a bill during his presidency, said the legislation would violate his principles.

"'I've made it very clear to the Congress that the use of federal money, taxpayers' money, to promote science which destroys life in order to save life -- I'm against that. And therefore if the bill does that, I will veto it,' Bush told reporters during a picture-taking session with Danish Prime Minister Anders Fogh Rasmussen."

No word on whether or not the Danish Prime Minister "averted his gaze."

SPORT HORSE RACING

(image via Waspost)

In: The Preakness. According to The Old Gray Lady, the weather will be ducky for this one million dollar race. There is lots of speculation all over the web as to which horse will win. Lots of odds talking. One thing is for certain, however. Somewhere ... Karl Lagerfeld will be watching the race, lustily, fingering his ponytail and slurping on a Diet Coke, with his mouth watering.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Looking forward to Dean @ my UNGODLY time of 6 am pacific [fist to sky] Curse you Russert and your little dog too!

The Corsair said...

Interesting, but unfortunately Dean didn't explode. Via wonkette: http://www.wonkette.com/politics/white-house/index.php#dean-no-match-for-miss-beazley-104572