Monday, March 20, 2006

Aaron and Candy Spelling Have Stopped Talking to Tori

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The Spelling Dynasty.(image via americanphoto)

The Spelling Dynasty is getting nasty. Tori Spelling, whom we like to call "Miss Spelling" for obvious reasons, may be messing upsetting the oily equilibrium of the House of Spelling. According to those intrepid Page Sixxies:

"TORI Spelling's parents, Aaron and Candy, have stopped speaking to her, sources say.

"'There is a scene in the first episode of her new show, 'So noTORIous,' in which she makes fun of the eBay room in her parents' house,' a friend says. 'Her mother has a huge shopping problem and has a whole room dedicated to the stuff she buys on the site. When Candy saw the episode, she threatened Tori and said she was going to sue her.'"

Aaw, Aaron: Don't be that way. The cprogenitor of that significant cultural artifact "Jiggle Television" in the 1970s (Averted Gaze), has to know that Great Art is sometimes viewed by its narrow minded contemporary critics as naught else but simple shit. But, in the end, do those same critics have a 123-room mansion?

At the very least you know that that saucer-eyed Methuselan waif Aaron can squeeze -- with little effort -- a cheesy and obscenely profiatble sit-com out of the whole situation. (A considerable pause) The eBay addictions of a frosty Los Angeles socialite mother. The ungrateful daughter who had nose surgery because, allegedly, a parrot bit her in 1994. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). Don't bitch, A-man: pitch. This is so CW Network, it writes itself.

"Apparently, Tori and Candy's relationship had been strained for some time. Pals of Tori say when she and Dean McDermott got engaged, she sent her 'cold' mother a note, inviting her to meet McDermott. 'Candy sent back a note saying only, 'You need to get your things out of the apartment.' "

Candy, like revenge, is best served cold.

Page Six

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