Wednesday, March 15, 2006

A Little of the Old In and Out

charliediane

(image via wchse)

In: Charlie Gibson. Nice guys, evidently, don't finish last. And here we had Charlie Gibson left for dead on the side of the network evening news road. Quite the contrary. Apparently, Diane likes him; she really likes him! We simply won't entertain the possibility that this is some elaborate "Nixonian" instance of poised, creamy insincerity calculated to jack up her Q-rating. Says the salmon-colored weekly:

"Don�t unplug that coffeepot just yet: Diane Sawyer isn�t angling to leave Good Morning America for World News Tonight, according to two ABC staffers. Instead, Ms. Sawyer has been pushing for her morning co-host, Charles Gibson, to take over the unsettled evening anchor desk.

�'Diane was lobbying last week for Charlie to get the job,' said one staffer.

"Going into the weekend, industry insiders had been ever more convinced that Ms. Sawyer was pushing herself. Three months after being publicly ruled out for the anchor job, in favor of the youthful tandem of Bob Woodruff and Elizabeth Vargas, Ms. Sawyer was thought to have won a second shot.

�'Whatever Diane wants, Diane gets,' one usually staid television source sang into the telephone on March 9, to the tune of 'What Lola Wants, Lola Gets' from Damn Yankees. 'And look out, little Vargas, Diane wants you.'"

Fuck. That sounds ... insidiously hott. (The Corsair closes his eyes) Can you sing that "Damn Yankees" song a little slower while we visualize the frosty Diane Sawyer hot-oil wrestling that sultry, Latina bottlerocket Elizabeth Vargas on a bearskin rug? But we digress:

"But five days later, ABC staffers said that what Ms. Sawyer wanted was Mr. Gibson.

�'The great irony of that whole thing,' one staffer said, '[was] as the rest of the world was talking about how she was lobbying to get the job for herself, it was quite the opposite.'"

Larry%20King

The mushroomhead speaketh. (image via fredhayes)

Out: Larry King. How does Larry King manage to fucking survive like a Third World dictator navigating the Scylla and Charybdis of the various regimes at CNN? Granted, he was a confidante of Ted Turner. And, yes, in the early 90s he seemed to be the go-to spot for the Washingtonian elite (never account for taste in DC, as leathery asshole Imus is, at present, the media go-to guy to project the mass-illusion of .. "folksy"). And what about that fucking mushroomhead? What's up with that? And the trophy wife (sotto voce); and the trophy wife.

Ever since "absorbent adult undergarments" were found, soiled, among Larry King's detrius (eew), he has been shitting -- albeit metaphorically -- all over CNN. To wit, from the WSJ (via iwantmedia):

"It has become increasingly clear that Larry King's best days at CNN are behind him.

"Never known as a particularly deep interviewer, Mr. King at one time managed to land important politicians and newsmakers, giving his program some journalistic value. Today, though, the veteran host seems more interested in celebrities and crime, diminishing not only his own reputation and influence, but that of CNN as well.

"And it shows in the ratings. The veteran host has seen his audience decline substantially in recent years as viewers gravitate toward more aggressive programs such as Fox News's 'Hannity & Colmes.' Fewer than one million people tune in each weeknight, on average, for 'Larry King Live,' according to Nielsen Media Research, down from 1.5 million three years ago. That's far behind 'Hannity & Colmes,' which leads cable news networks in the 9-10 p.m. hour with almost 1.6 million viewers.

"Larry King interviews cyclist Lance Armstrong on CNN's 'Larry King Live.'

"And the viewers who remain part of the 72-year-old Mr. King's audience tend to be older (65, on average), and less wealthy (with a median income of $40,000), numbers that hold little appeal for advertisers intent on reaching younger, more-affluent consumers.

"Mr. King's celebrity-oriented show also feels awkward sandwiched between Paula Zahn and Anderson Cooper's newsier programs. While neither of those shows is likely to invoke memories of Edward R. Murrow's 'See It Now,' both look like PBS documentaries next to Mr. King's hourlong softball fest."

And don't even get us started on Wolf Blitzer's softballs. And, yes: "Wolf Blitzwer's softballs" is a truly unfortunate turn of phrase.

The full story here.

nrl

(image via newroo)

In: NewRoo. Such are the mysteries of this new, exciting Digital Age that a company can be acquired pre-Beta launch. According to TechCrunch:

"Fox Interactive is in the closing stages of acquiring unlaunched startup NewRoo for 'less than $10 million,' according to very reliable sources.

"This follows Fox Interactive President Ross Levinsohn�s dramatic announcement at a recent UTR conference that 'they�ve acquired someone in this room,' leading to serious blog speculation as to who the acquired company might be. While NewRoo did not present at the event, it turns out that they were in fact in the room at the time.

"NewRoo is a real-time news aggregator that allows users to create their own customized news and content pages. The company has not launched. See my previous post on NewRoo for a full profile of the company."

sundaymag081204

(image via wizbangblog)

Out: Jessica Cutler. What the fuck, people? What. The. Fu-u-uk?! It may or may not be hard out there for a pimp (opinion varies, voices carry), but the whores, it seems, are doing just fine. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) According to Variety:

"Sarah Jessica Parker is teaming with scribe Vanessa Taylor ('Jack & Bobby') for a half-hour HBO comedy based on 'Washingtonienne,' the steamy D.C.-set novel inspired by the real-life sexcapades of author Jessica Cutler.

"It's the first project to emerge from Parker's Pretty Matches Prods. since the shingle set up shop at HBO last year. Parker will exec produce, with Taylor writing the pilot and exec producing.

"There are no plans for Parker to act in the project. Cutler will serve as a consultant."

Let's quickly recap Jessica Cutler's accomplishments. The curriculum vitae reads as follows. Cutler had sex for extra spending money with mid-level, geekish DC operatives. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) She kept a blog chronicling those sexploits. She got fired from her job as a Senate staffer when the blog became widely known.

Since then she has been showered with book deals, and now .. this.

We give up. (The Corsair pours himself a glass of the black wine of Cahors, elixir of Popes) Perhaps we are going about this blogging thing entirely wrong.

arianna1

(image via americanpolitics)

In: Clooney Versus Huffington. We rather like Arianna Huffington, except, of course, on those rare occasions when she -- how does one say this? -- crosses ethical boundaries. Arianna can be dark. From FishbowlLA:

"Remember a couple days ago when George Clooney so selflessly and courageously proclaimed his liberal orientation in a Huffington Post blog-post? Well, he turns out he didn't write the post, and he's angry. From the LAT:

"'Oscar-winner George Clooney may make politically provocative films like 'Syriana.' But he doesn't write politically provocative blogs.

"So imagine his ire when Arianna Huffington used some of his recent answers to political questions in a way that makes it look as if he wrote one for her Huffington Post blog site.

"'He doesn't object to the quotes,' says Stan Rosenfield, Clooney's rep. 'He said those things and those are his views. Arianna asked for permission to use the quotes and he gave it to her. What he didn't give permission for was the use of his quotes without source attributions to make it appear that he wrote a blog for her site.'

And:

"Clooney vs. Huffington update! Arianna responds...

"... and blames the publicist. The post appears to have been taken down. Whew! All is safe on the streets of Brentwood."

There, all better. (And we still think Arianna is hott)

DSC_6121_wa

The grim mood of Likud. (image via ynetnews)

Out: Benjamin Netanyahu. Now is the time that the true character of Benjamin Netanyahu reveals itself. Ehud Olmert's assault on Jehrico allowed him to maneuver enough to the political right to almost completely marginalize Netanyahu into irrelevance. In the process, the siege allowed Olmert to define himself outside of the nimbus of Sharon. (The Corsair sparks a Cohiba Robusto) As the outclassed Netanyahu heads for a brutal loss, the victim of his own disgusting ambitions -- his fucking Thumos -- Netanyahu grasps at straws, itching for the power that eludes him, and finds dirt. According to Ynetnews:

"Likud concerned over ramifications of successful Jericho operation 'orchestrated' by Olmert; party's chairman marks coming weekend as critical for elections polls, says 'Olmert plans to hand land over to Hamas terrorists'"

Netanyahu, on his back, now besmirches the noble final act -- and legacy -- of Ariel Sharon. (Averted Gaze; withering look of conetempt)

"Likud Chairman Benjamin Netanyahu said at the end of a security consultation he held Wednesday that "one successful operation does not change the fact that (Acting Prime Minister Ehud) Olmert is planning to hand land to over Hamas terrorists.

"One day after the army managed to capture murdered Tourism Minister Rehavam Zeevi�s killers after a siege of the Jericho prison, spirits were low in the Likud, as its members feared the party would sink in the polls in favor of rival Kadima.

"Netanyahu slammed Kadima�s plan for further withdrawals from the West Bank.

�'Olmert�s strategic plan is faulty and dangerous, and this is what the Israeli voter is voting on at the ballots. The question each voter will ask himself is: do I agree to such a significant territorial retreat without anything in return and knowing that the lands will be transferred to Hamas, or should I choose Netanyahu�s uncompromising fight against Hamas?' the Likud chairman said."

Or, rather, Netanyahu's uncompromising jockeying for power. Israeli elections are notoriously volatile processes, with public opinion making hairpin turns according to the most recent terrorist attack. Let us hope nothing Hamas-inspired occurs to radically alter the electoral landscape in favor of Sharon's last vision at this critical historical juncture.

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