Monday, August 14, 2006

Is Kid Rock Kid Flop in Bed?



(image via newsoftheworld)

You know what they say about a trailer trash family tree being a circular wreath? (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) So true. Hep C postergirl Pam Anderson's quasi-legal marriage to the oft-incarcerated Kid Rock has hit a speedbump by the name of Jill Gulseth. According to the extremely downmarket newsoftheworld:

"STUNNING model Jill Gulseth was devastated when her boyfriend married former Baywatch babe Pamela Anderson last weekend.

"For bad-boy singer Kid Rock never even had the guts to tell his lover she was dumped.

"But jilted Jill says Pammie is in for an even a bigger letdown� because the rock star is a flop idol in bed. She doubts he'll measure up to Pam's previous hubby Tommy 'T-bone' Lee who put in a star performance in their famous honeymoon home video. For Kid is less of a T-bone and more a minute steak, according to the 22-year-old brunette."

The indigestible references to meat notwithstanding (Averted Gaze) they continue:

"'Jill, who only found out about the wedding when she saw Pammie and 45-year-old Kid on TV news, revealed they'd been together just days before he jetted to France and met up with his old flame Pam.

"'The last time I saw him we clung to each other as we kissed and said goodbye,' she said.

"'Little did I know it would be the last kiss we ever shared and just days later I'd turn on my television and find out that he was getting married.

"'I just hope that Pamela knows what she's getting. Everyone knows just how amazing Tommy is in bed. Well, Kid ain't. Kid Flop would be a better name for him."

After a sexual relationship, "(t)hey chatted on the phone for hours on end during the next couple of days.

"But then Kid's calls stopped and only a text message from him warned of the nightmare to come. It said simply: 'I'm so sorry it is my fault.' Tearful Jill said: 'A couple of days later I turned on the television and it said on the news that he was back with Pamela.

"'I was heartbroken, wondering how this man I had invested so much love and time with could be so cruel.'"

That's rock and roll, babe.

The full story (including why Kid Rock doesn't like to have sex in the shower) here.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Isn't it a pity, isn't it a shame. No one ever warned the girl Rock'n'Roll's a vicious game.

Wonder Trash

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